Saturday, September 29, 2007

Sens – Wings Of Comfort

Read Sens and Sens - The Loss Of Comfort


7 years later…

Blue light in the restroom was almost dull and cigarette smoke dominated the ambience of entire room. Wash-hand basins were filthy with blots of ignorance and generosity of people to keep the public place clean. She glanced at the emptiness of atmosphere, falling on heavy drum beats ricocheting from the dusted corners. Her hands were trembling and beads of sweat dripped down her forehead, even though winter in the city froze out the flames.

Last time it was an amazing experience; of walking along with the Person, of smelling the fragrance of flowers, of swinging in the rope of clouds. Now she was nervous, and expressing the reluctance to try it again but idea of finding the same comfort, she felt years ago, forced her to tie the belt. She found a green line of metacarpal vein in her arm, and inserted a needle in it.

The moment Heroin flooded with blood-stream for temporary co-existence, the spinal cord contracted for a second, tore her back to flutter its wings and the brain responded immediately. She started to fly through the light to uncertain source, which was making grotesque shapes. The sense of comfort and happiness revisited her & boosted her to touch the shapes; the smile on her face glowed under the pristine fragrance. But after reaching to certain height, the wings disappeared.

Eventual thump laid her unconscious on the floor, and a slow flow of red liquid oozed out of her nose but she did not feel the pain.

11 reviews. Post your review.:

dreamy said...

This is getting more and more interesting.

Waiting eagerly for the next part.

Unknown said...

Well i was groping in the dark for some time to find a word that describes the piece that you wrote and i finally found it . Its just "sensational". Yes my friend sensational. From the last post its a huge improvement. Keep it up buddy.

Angry Voices said...

The series is building up. The end message is quite interesting. Just one negativity to point out though - the words are slightly stifling.

They give a great atmosphere to your story, but it drags a bit in some places. Another observation would be repetition of phrases like restroom and then "room" immediately after.

Your writing is pretty good - just had to point this one thing out. Expectation levels are rising. :D

Llama said...

I love when she starts flying. This is the best one yet. Keep 'em coming.

causticji said...

Wordy as usual - unnecessary at some places, like before. But liked it better than the previous one - in fact, better than both the previous ones.

~Moo-lah Buz!nezzz~ said...

Nice,
But I felt her high could have been a bit more descriptive,of course,before she fell down.
But pretty neat.

chrome3d said...

I came here looking for nature photography. There was none, but it was still interesting!

coffee stain said...

do you stalk women's bathrooms?! :P

Anonymous said...

@Coffee Stain

I x-rayed women's restroom :D ;)

Iris said...

Amazing...i love the way you have described the whole scene.

Unknown said...

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Thank you so much for share amazing post.